What I look forward to is continued…
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death
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When your children are teenagers, it’s…
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the...
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Get at least eight hours of sleep. Nine…
Get at least eight hours of sleep. Nine if you’re ugly
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The difference between genius and…
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
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Ted has learned that Susan does indeed…
Ted has learned that Susan does indeed have a last nerve
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Me, after watching the Victoria’s Secret…
Me, after watching the Victoria’s Secret fashion show
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All I ask is the chance to prove that …
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy
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